9 Things I Learned from the Republican National Convention

September 6, 2008 at 1:47 pm
  1. Liberals are bad. Very bad. But Republicans need to reach out across the aisle to them. But first, they must call them names and blame them for everything that is wrong with America.
  2. Republicans want change too. Even though they’ve been in charge for the past eight years. Apparently they can’t change anything while holding the Presidency, Supreme Court, and Congress (for the 1st six years of Bush’s Presidency).
  3. Lack of experience only matters when it’s your opponents experience. When Obama was looking at Tim Kaine, Governor of Virginia for 3 years and Mayor of Richmond, Karl Rove said he didn’t have enough experience. But 2 years in Alaska and the mayor of Wasilla is enough?
  4. We need more tax cuts. Because our debt isn’t big enough. And not just any tax cuts. Tax cuts for the wealthy so that they can trickle it down to the rest of us.
  5. Did I mention liberals are bad? Elitists are bad too and somehow they are controlling the country. It’s not the ultra-rich with their access to Washington (like Robert Woods Johnson IV) who run this country. It’s some smarty-pants professor who makes $50k a year in Massachusetts. They’re not like you and me and Robert Woods Johnson IV.
  6. Liberals have been in charge of Washington for the past 8 years. “We need change all right – change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington – throw out the big government liberals and elect John McCain.” – Mitt Romney
  7. Dependency is death to initiative, risk-taking and opportunity. Unless you’re a major corporation that contributes to the Republican party. Then you need all the handouts, tax breaks, and no-bid contracts you can get to survive in this global economy.
  8. John McCain is a maverick. He got his maverick moniker from taking stands that were against the grain of the conservative base. And now by choosing Sarah Palin he has become even more of a maverick by going against his own maverick impulses and accepting whole-heartedly the most conservative candidate since George W. Bush.
  9. The media is liberal and also bad. Despite the fact that it is largely owned by Rupert Murdoch, Disney, General Electric, Gannett, and ClearChannel and is in bed with the government.

I was amazed to find out that what America needs is not a change from the things we’ve been doing that haven’t been working, but a change to more of the same things we’ve seen over the past eight years:

  • The outsourcing of government to the private sector
  • Tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so that they might “trickle down” to the rest of us
  • More deficit spending
  • More liberal bashing

The Republican message is so jumbled, I almost felt sorry for the attendees at the RNC who seemed to be clapping uncertainly, as if they knew they needed to clap, but couldn’t quite understand what they were clapping for.

It was all so confusing. McCain is now for change which is what Obama was for and McCain was against only now McCain is coming over to Obama’s view that change is needed only he wants to offer change by doing more of the same things that we’ve been doing.

Whew! No wonder their heads were spinning.

I’m glad Sarah Palin came along to clarify for them that what they can all agree on is that liberals are bad and to blame for everything. Good thing they didn’t choose the theme of “personal responsibility” this year!