Conservative Enemies

January 10, 2009 at 11:08 pm

Conservatives will tell you that it is clear that they are victims of a vast conspiracy and are under attack!

To find out who all these groups and people are, I started compiling a list while listening to conservative talk radio and reading conservative blogs.

Here is the list of some of the fringe groups that are attacking conservatives:

  1. Liberals
  2. The government (yes, even when they’re running it, it still manages to attack them)
  3. The media
  4. Islamofascists
  5. Scientists
  6. Educators
  7. Hollywood
  8. The middle class
  9. Unions
  10. The judiciary
  11. The blogosphere
  12. Environmentalists
  13. Workers
  14. Illegal immigrants
  15. Legal immigrants
  16. California
  17. Communists
  18. Presbyterians
  19. Socialists
  20. Carpenters
  21. Muslims
  22. Consumer advocate groups
  23. Democrats
  24. Europe
  25. Poets
  26. Gays and lesbians
  27. Farmers
  28. The big cities of America
  29. African Americans
  30. Rick Warren
  31. Lutherans
  32. Al Franken
  33. Universities
  34. Musicians
  35. 18-29 year olds
  36. Hispanic Americans
  37. The gutted small towns of America
  38. Anyone with a 401k plan
  39. Jews
  40. The AARP
  41. Women
  42. Public radio
  43. Writers
  44. Al Gore
  45. Surfers
  46. Colin Powell
  47. Retired generals
  48. Aliens
  49. Michael Moore
  50. FDR
  51. The AFL-CIO
  52. Topless sunbathers and their fans in Australia

And these are just a few!

These attacks are a threat to individual freedom – conservatives are not allowed to be conservatives because they live in constant fear after listening to conservative media.

It has never been clearer that conservatives must defend themselves from these relentless attacks! In order to fight back against all of these people who clearly hate conservatives, I suggest conservatives:

  1. Point out that they are under attack constantly using all of the media outlets that they own
  2. Demonize attackers as “radicals” and “fringe” elements
  3. Generate outrage against these attackers to justify using any means necessary to fight them (eventually maybe they can be imprisoned)
  4. Setup their own “scientific” studies
  5. Fund business schools
  6. Fund think tanks to generate propaganda against these attackers
  7. Insert representatives from business in academia to create a balance of academics and conservative propaganda
  8. Constantly monitor the media for any pieces that counter conservative philosophy and purge wherever possible
  9. Scan all textbooks for anti-conservative thought
  10. Eliminate public schools
  11. Defund universities that aren’t business schools
  12. Wage war against the arts as these people are worthless and don’t really work
  13. Get rid of any media outlets that aren’t owned by big businesses and allow media consolidation so it is easier to air propaganda
  14. Promote based on loyalty to the movement rather than qualifications
  15. Destroy the middle class

The only other action that is possible, but is a threat to our freedom as Americans, is for conservatives to turn off the conservative media and then maybe they won’t feel so threatened.

As a fan and a listener of conservative talk radio though, I would urge against this action because without listening to conservative talk radio and the corporate-controlled media, we might all seem like people with slightly different viewpoints instead of conservatives and their enemies.