The Latest GOP Phantom War

February 25, 2009 at 10:38 pm

I received this alarmist e-mail from NewsMax today:

Radio Insiders, Congressmen Aim to Stop Fairness Doctrine

Moves are afoot to head off any Democratic efforts to reinstate the so-called Fairness Doctrine and stifle conservative talk radio.

A group of radio  insiders has formed the Free Radio Coalition to fight the reinstatement, Radio America President James Roberts said on Tuesday.

Radio America talk show host and former San Diego Mayor Roger Hedgecock will chair the coalition.

“The reinstatement of the misnamed Fairness Doctrine would constitute a massive assault on our cherished First Amendment rights and should be of concern to all Americans, regardless of their political or religious persuasion,” Hedgecock said.

I love these e-mails. Moves are afoot. Plots are being hatched. Conservative talk radio is about to be stifled!

Probably my favorite quote calls the Fairness Doctrine “misnamed.” Misnamed like, I don’t know, “NewsMax”?

But there is no legislation to reinstate the Fairness Doctrine.

Nothing.

Conservatives are going berserk over nothing. Break out the tin hats.

Liberals are everywhere. Surrounding them. Making them do things they don’t want to do. Like accepting money from the government. It’s a conspiracy.

What’s a conservative to do?

Pass some legislation to prevent something that is not being considered from even being considered.

Huh?

It’s a win-win. Republicans create a phony enemy, drum up outrage on all the conservative talk shows, and then defeat it before it ever attacks them. How can they lose?  (Especially when they’ve already won.)

Now you may be asking yourself, why aren’t Republicans worrying about real problems like the economy?

The answer is simple. That would require work. Work and collaborating with Democrats. Nothing is more distasteful then collaborating with Democrats. It would make much more sense to let the world go to hell then to work with Democrats.

Vanquishing phantom enemies, however, requires no work and makes Republican politicians look good to people who believe in phantom enemies because they listen to too much talk radio.

Maybe Democrats should introduce the Fair Game Act – legislation that makes it legal to hunt and shoot Republicans from April through September each year.